One year old!

Dear Ben,
My peanut, my buddy, my silly boy. I was forever changed one year ago today by your birth, when I was honored to become your mother. Me, a mother! I'd grown up looking forward to the concept, and had nine months to get used to the idea, but at 10:27 a.m., January 23rd, 2008, the concept became reality. There you were, all pink and perfect and mine.

I'll admit there were times in those first few weeks that panic set in. I remember lying in bed on several occasions thinking there was no way I could keep another human alive for an extended period of time. One of the countless warnings in my what-to-expect books was going to go unnoticed or I'd forget a simple, but vital, caretaking procedure. But here we are, a whole year later, and you've survived!

Not just survived, of course, but grown and developed from a wee, little, teeny-tiny, itty-bitty newborn to the...dare I say...toddler you are today! On Wednesday, we'll find out exact stats, but you are about 21 pounds and wearing 12 - 18 month clothes. You've made great strides in taking steps from this video on Monday, but still prefer speed-crawling, wall-scaling or car-pushing as your primary mode of transportation. Oh, and being carried around still trumps them all.

*Note how nervous you get when you think Daddy's trying to take your snack cup!

Meal time is starting to be less stressful as we are learning to turn the reins over to your grabby little hands. Who knew you could eat oatmeal with your fingers?! Feeding yourself peas, corn, chicken, cheese, pancakes, toast, or bananas usually puts you in a good enough mood for us to slip in a full jar of veggies/fruit in between handfuls.

Sippy cup goes the other way, Buddy.
(haven't quite mastered this yet)

And we're hopeful that you've turned a corner on napping at school, as this whole week we've gotten report of 1.5 - 2.5 hour naps! Yay Ben! Your bedtime ranges between 7 - 8, although one night this week, I couldn't keep you up past 6:30. Then you usually "greet" us (with whimpers and cries) before the sun by 6:30 a.m. I think you'd make it a little longer without Zoe click-clacking down the hall, but she just can't help herself!

As far as words go, there is lots of babble. Lots of babble. Strings of dadadada, yayaya, mamamama. These range in volume and pitch, depending on your enthusiasm. But there are definitely things you want to show us, because you continually point, say "dah" and turn to see what we have to say about it. And I think you said "oggie" when we saw two dogs in the parking lot at school...maybe?

You've started clapping too! So between that and "so big", you can put on a pretty good show these days. I can't wait for the dancing to start - what's cuter than that?!

All in all, it's been a fun month - requiring only ONE visit to the doctor, which in comparison to the last few months is a vast improvement. You've been to see your families in Tennessee and Canada, celebrated your first Christmas and New Year's (although you and your sleepy parents missed the festivities), and have just been pretty happy all around.

Oh, and your two top teeth came in on Christmas Eve!
You're really working that beaver grin here.

I can't sum up this year quite so easily though... Fun? Yes! Challenging? Sure. Exhausting? At times. Happy? Daily. Life-changing seems to be the most accurate, although also the least descriptive. Every facet of who am I has changed because I became your mom. Not that it's my only identity or my only joy, but because no matter what I'm doing, I'm thinking of you. As I've heard it said before, you are my heart walking around outside of my body. Part of my prayer for you every day is that you get enough sleep and enough to eat, and that Jesus keeps you healthy and safe and helps you to grow big and strong. Your daddy and I are so thankful for your health and for this blessing we've been given as parents. As we start your second year of life, I'm less apprehensive than the first, and I know that with the Lord's help we are equipped to handle the challenges and enjoy the good times that toddlerhood will bring.

Happy first birthday baby!

All my heart,

Mommy